Thanks Fallsview, for the worst session of my life.

Before I start, I want to make one thing crystal clear, since there will be little in the way of poker hand analysis or discussion, when I say this was the worst session of my life, I walked out with 150 dollars profit in about 4 hours. The big pot I won was when I flopped the nuts holding 9h/10h, the flop was 6s/7s/8c, and I got a girl all in for her 280 dollars(I had her well covered) when she was holding 9/5. After that there wasn't alot interesting that happened, which is the crux of the problem. So let's go back to the start...

I played the FTOPS Event #3, PL Hold'Em tonight. It went terribly. I made a brutal mistake and really overplayed top pair and I still can't possibly explain or understand why I did it. A limped pot, I limped with A/J, flop was J/10/4. EP checked, I bet pot, it folded around and he hammered back pot(which was a significant raise). For whatever unkown reason, I re-raised all-in, which is asenine since there are so few hands I get check raised by that I have beat on that board. Infact, I can't even think of one. He was an UTG+1 limp so AA, KK and QQ are all possible here, as is 44, J/10. The one hand I still don't see being in his range limping UTG+1 was the hand he wound up having, 10/10. Anyway, that put me on the short stack, and I went out a short time later. Terrible.

A little while later, I get a message from Griff, he's deep in the 18k guarantee on FTP, and I rail and watch him finish 3rd, for a 3,600 payday. He then informs me he's "going back down to the tables", because he's in Niagara right now, and he had crushed the 5/5 game at Fallsview before going back to his room to play the FTOPS and that tourney. It's midnight, but I'm pretty awake still, so I decide I'll make the trip out there. It's about an hour long drive given the back-road way from my house to Niagara, so I arrive at Fallsview expecting great fun, and get something else entirely.

First of all, and this is a rather small gripe, when I get ID'd at the door, the guy puts the damn stamp on my hand. I don't drink, I don't want the stamp. I'd have told him, but he was some kind of hand-stamping ninja. This was the Jet Li of hand-stamping, before I even knew what was occuring my hand has a bright green stamp on it that'll take me 5 minutes to scrape off in the shower tomorrow, and does nothing for me. I calmly thank Jet Li and walk into the casino.

Once I get to the card room Griff had put my name on the list, so I get basically right onto a 5/5 table, and buyin 500 deep. That hand I won most of my money off of was about 10 minutes into the session.

After that, I notice a few things. First of all, there's not really any money on my table. My 800 is now the biggest stack at our table. Second of all, there are a few good players actually. Third of all, and most importantly, every single type of player I hate sitting at a table with is at this table :

Guy who thinks he's a pro but loses all his money by playing terribly : Check. Obviously I have no problem with him being there, but there was one really stupid spot where the board was 7s/8c/9c/Jc/Qh, and I had A/10, and went into the tank before calling with the 10. It was good, and the kid says to the guy beside him, "fuckin guys who think they're pro Hollywooding". I calmly pointed out that's why he sucks at poker, and we moved on.

Girl who refuses to top up : This is probably the worst kind of person, especially at a game like 5/5. This girl bought in for 100, and was down to about 55 or so, maybe not even. Every single time she does anything you're facing a 55 dollar decision because she's so short, and won't buy back in. She hovered there for hours before she finally got a big hand and won about 300.

Guy who sleeps at the table : It's 2am, so this douche wants to take a nap at the table, holding up the game whenever we have to wake him up to inform him it's on him. That same guy also was another big pet peeve player :

Guy who calls a clock completely un-necessarily : When he wasn't napping, he was insulting players and getting them to put the clock on players basically for nothing. I have a story about a run-in with him, but it'll wait until later in this blog.

Anyway, all that, and as I said, barely any money, meant the table moved very slowly, there was almost no action. This was, infact, an absolutely horrible 5/5 table. So, after Griff got moved to my table we both decided we'd get moved to another table behind us which had some big action and lots of bad players. So we asked for the table change. About 10 minutes later maybe, not even, Griff gets moved over to that table.

Now comes the real anger. I sit at that table for another 20 minutes or so, before I see a seat open up beside this guy that's over 4000 deep at that table, so I calmly wait to be moved. However, I don't get moved. I give them some time figuring they're getting around to it, and about 20 minutes after that, I finally call a pit-boss over and tell him I asked to be moved, and there's a seat open. He says he'll go check it out and let me know.

Another 20 minutes pass, the table I'm at is getting tighter, and even slower. I'm basically sick I don't want to be playing at this table any more it's so slow moving and pots aren't going anywhere. In the meantime, no one sits in that seat. So, I call the pit-boss back over, and ask him what's going on. He informs me the call has to come from up front on table changes, and he's waiting to hear from them.

Another 20 minutes pass. I'm getting very upset now as that seat remains unclaimed. Now players are starting to file out slowly from the casino, and our table is short 2 players. I call a pit-boss yet again about the move, and now he informs me that "Since we're short we don't move people". I ask what happened for the last hour I've been waiting and he has no response.

20 minutes pass. The 4th table of 5/5 breaks, and fills the third table, our table, but still leaves that spot open. So, naturally I call the pit-boss back over, and ask him about a move now, he tells me to hold on, and walks back upfront. Another player gets dumped from that table so now there's 2 open over there. They then move another player from my table that asked for a table change after me, over to the table I want to go to. I call the pit-boss back over and ask to be moved also, and get the "we're short I can't move you" excuse again. I nearly lose it, especially considering the other guy just getting moved, and they tell me they'll try and figure something out.

In the meantime, I'm slowly losing some chips back to my shitty table, one hand that I actually laughed out loud at. I had Q/J in the cut-off, raised, got a call from SB and BB. The flop came Jh/9c/4c, I bet, got a caller. On the turn, which was a brick, a 5d, I looked at his stack, about 73 dollars infront of him. This is why I hate playing with all these short clowns at my table with 100-200 infront of them, because the pot's over 50 bucks now, any bet I make is all his chips. Oh well, I bet pot, 50 bucks. He CALLS, and holds onto 23 dollars. River? 3c. He goes all-in. I literally laugh, I couldn't help it, and dump it. He shows Ac/2c for the nut flush, as if I somehow didn't know that.

In the meantime, I call a pit-boss over and ask about a move one last time, and they tell me they can't do it, so I calmly tell them that's fine, I'm leaving then.

The last hand I play is Kc/10s from the cut-off and raise, the button, SB and BB all call. The flop comes 10h/4c/5c, check from the blinds I bet out 2/3 pot which is 40 bucks, pot is 60. Button raises it up to 140. I go into the tank, not for overly long either, maybe 30 seconds, before Mr.Nappy McClockcaller decides he's going to call the clock on me. But first, he's going to insult the fact that I want to make a good decision here, he does it wrong however. Here's our little exchange.

Nappy : "There's only 60 dollars in the pot."
Me(directed at the dealer) : "Can I take back my 40 dollar bet?"
Dealer : "No. It's in the pot."
Me(directed at the dealer) : "So would you say that the 180 dollars infront of us is also in the pot?"
Dealer : "Yes."
Me : "So the pot's like what...240?"
Dealer : "Approximately"
Me(directed at Nappy) : "Sorry, I just wanted to verify the pot's actual size."
Nappy : "Still, it's not a hard decision"
Me : "Sorry I'm not as good as you I take maybe like 30 seconds to decide to fold top pair."
*At this point I fold the 10 faceup*
Nappy : "Why would you fold that?"
Me : "That's why I took 30 seconds you idiot. Especially since he only has about 200 more behind I can't call that bet I have to shove and play a huge pot against him."

That's about it for my session, I got up and walked out, cashed out for a 654. Came back to the card-room to tell the pit-boss' not to worry about my table change since I was off the table now. I then bitch them out for a few minutes, and they apologize. Charming, but I'm severely un-impressed with all that's occured.

That's about it, a 5 hour late night session, at the worst table ever that apparantly I was never going to be allowed to move from, of immensely boring poker, made some money so it's not horrifying but still, this is one of the very rare times where I will sit at a poker table and not enjoy myself. I love the game of poker, but tonight was torture.