Monday, October 12, 2009

What's this feeling of happiness?

Well, this summer was rough to say the least, I wrote a couple blogs that expressed what was happening in my life this summer so I won't rehash it now. Suffice it to say, summer was long and not as much fun as most people try and have during a summer.

With that said, there's this odd sensation sweeping over me. I think I remember it as "happiness", from well before the summer began.

Life is good for me right now, I got into the school I wanted to go to, a private school for Sports Broadcasting. The resumes of the teachers that I have in this semester alone is astonishing...

TV Writing - Jim Van Horne(worked at TSN forever)
TV Presentation - Jim Van Horne
Radio Writing - Elliotte Friedman(worked at Fan 590 and The Score before his current job on Hockey Night in Canada)
Radio Presentation - David Amber(worked at TSN for a number of years, then got hired onto ESPN)
Camera Operation - Dawn Landis(director of Off The Record and CFL on TSN)
Radio Editing - Ray Williams(has worked on the radio for almost 40 years)
New Media - Roger Lajoie(Fan 590 as well as about 14 other jobs)
TV Editing - Graham Holmes(lead editor at The Score)

School's been a blast, and after one month(ironically as I write this), I've been told I have a knack for writing, and I've already gotten an internship from the school working for www.rotoworld.com

So that's been going great, it's alot of fun, learning alot, getting cool contacts and opportunities presented like crazy.

As for the focus on the blog, which is poker, well, that's been going pretty damn well lately also actually.

I've been steadily dominating the mid-teirs of SNG's on FTP for a little while. My ROI in $50+5 9 man SNG's is a steady 10%, and my ROI at the $69+6 45 man SNG's is a pretty zany 123%. So money is good too right now.

Have money to spend, awesome school life, and happiness with what I'm doing right now in poker because I feel like I'm one of the very best SNG players in the mid levels on the site right now, have absolute confidence sitting down at any table now, and am getting results to go in line with my feelings.

My SNG style is adapting slowly. I've gone almost completely away from the math based "SNG Wizard" approach to the games, and I'm actually playing a tighter style, I hate to draw this comparison because it's a real sore spot for alot of players, but I guess you could kind of compare it to the "Phil Hellmuth" approach. I just feel like I'm better than making marginal shoves with weak hands that SNG Wizard thinks turns a small profit. While the play may be profitable, it may not be the best path to winning...and I think a ton of players look at plays in a bubble now("is this unexploitably profitable?") and forget that there's a finish line we're working towards, and that the particular hand isn't the end of the SNG. As I play more, I find myself getting more comfortable around SNG play, and developing a style I feel is somewhat unique for the SNG's which have become oh-so robotic lately.

I know it's early to give out a New Years Resolution because it's not New Years, but I already know what mine is for poker.

This year a close friend of mine made a run at, and still sits somewhere(not sure where exactly) on the Sharkscope leaderboard for the $30-100 level.

It is my goal next year to finish top 5 on that leadboard.

Also since I have next summer off, I fully plan to make a return to Las Vegas next summer, and get back into tourney life down there. I've missed it the last 2 years.

Monday, July 27, 2009

A little thing called perspective...

No one's ever said poker players as a group are the most rationally thinking people in the world. Anyone who plays a card game for a living has to have just a little bit of weird in them, of that I am convinced.

With that said, most players are kind, normal people who are fun to be around. Except at one key time. The dreaded bad beat.

I recently starting playing MTT's online, en masse. I've been playing them alot, and one thing I noticed, outside of the complete lack of any level of skill or comprehension of poker in the slightest by about 99.99% of players, is "how bad I run" in them.

In fairness(and this is where perspective comes in), I've only been at it for a week, and I've gotten deep in 3 MTT's so far, making final two tables 3 times and final table twice.

In the latest one, I lost with 77 vs JJ on a 5/5/6/J/7 board early in the MTT(1200 players), and was down to 180 chips with blinds at 50/100. Fast forward a pretty amazing 4 hours, and we're final 13 and I'm 2nd in chips. That's when I get all in with the CL preflop, AA vs QQ, and he spikes a Q on the turn. Shit happens.

It's funny to me looking back now, at the perspective I've gained. At the time that happened, I was pretty pissed, complaining at how bad I run at key moments in MTT's like that.

So with that said, let me present the real definition of running bad :

In my last update, I talked about my dad going into the hospital for what would be the last time. That ended last Sunday, when he passed away. It sucked, clearly. It tore a hole through me, but with that said, I "dealt" with it, it was somewhat of a relief to see him put out of the agony he was in the last week or so of his life...so in that I found something I could take solace in, and things were okay.

Monday, the day after he passed away, we received a phone call from Orillia where my grandmother(mom's side) lives, she had suffered a severe stroke and was in the hospital. Well...isn't that fucking fun. So, naturally, we went up there to visit and we tended to that, mom, while dealing with losing dad, was now dealing with that.

Tuesday, the day after that, we got a call back from the hospital, from my grandmother, who was speaking, so that was amazing since on Monday when we went up she couldn't speak. Things were looking up.

Wednesday, on the dad of the visitation for my dad, we got a call back from the hospital again, saying they were transporting grandma to the hospital in Barrie because she needed emergency surgery. Oh, that sucks alot.

Thursday, we had the funeral for dad. We heard back from the hospital that things were okay with grandma, but the operation hadn't fully taken, they were going to have to do another one in a few days once she built up the strength again.

Skip ahead a few days...and we come to the latest in a string of "Fuck You"'s directed right at me and my family.

Today(Sunday), I am writing this in a notepad file on my computer...instead of in the blogger site like I normally do? Why? Because I can't log on the internet.

Why? Well, today we had a really bad storm and my house was hit by lightning. So far the losses are 3 TV's, 2 cable boxes and my modem/home phone(although those'll be replaced by the cable company), a portable air conditioner, a microwave, our dryer, a freezer and the garage door(electronically opened and closed).

So ya, looking back now at AA vs QQ, for what was a collosal chip lead with 12 left in a tourney with $6k for first place...seems so petty.

It's all a matter of perspective. Next time a bad beat twists you up, keep in mind : It could be alot worse.

Trust me.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Life : What really matters?

I've been asked alot lately, but alot of friends that went down, be it co-workers at the casino I work at or one of the many, many friends I have that play poker if I'm going to Vegas, and why I'm not.

The answer is simple, and granted somewhat tragic. My father's health is very, very bad. Infact, he's in the hospital right now, and it doesn't look likely that he'll ever be checking out.

I say somewhat tragic because it's something I've had ample time to prepare for. My father was diagnosed with cancer 13 years ago now, and the day he was diagnosed, he was given 6 months to live. I still remember that day, more than any other day of my entire life on this earth. I was in Grade 10, and suddenly was dealing with this bombshell.

However, thankfully, my dad endured. Can't say I'm entirely surprised, he was always(this is somewhat cliched because everyone says this it seems) a tough man, and always stubborn, so it seemed natural that he'd piss on the 6 month diagnosis.

In truth, the doctors here in Hamilton have done absolute miracles with him, Dr.Davis specifically who was assigned his cancer doctor way back when, has since written several papers on the treatments he's given dad to keep him alive since that diagnosis...because it "shouldn't" be possible. So, I guess there's what the kids call a "shout-out" to him.

Now, why am I mentioning this/pissing on your day by letting you read this?

Well, as I said, his health is terrible now, his liver has completely failed, he's hooked up to a pump that's supplementing his liver and keeping him alive right now.

Seeing him in that state, kind of put life into perspective.

And this is where we take a plot twist...

Normally when someone in poker writes something like this, they make a long speech about how family is important, etc etc, and talk about how they're quitting the game to focus on what's important.

Fuck that.

Here's what the perspective I got was. Not just do what makes you happy...that's simplistic.

Instead, find what you were meant to do, and never leave it.

If that's waiting bars, working at McDonalds, or being spun out on crystal meth, don't shy away. Do what you love to do, do what you were meant to do.

I read back through this blog's history and old posts and I wonder how I managed to fuck this up so thoroughly. I read back to 2007, when I was playing poker full time, and I read the blog from that year and it's me having the time of my life, travelling like crazy, playing poker, making great money at it. I read about my Vegas trip, where I went down to Vegas for the first(and sadly only time so far) that year, and cashed in a WSOP event(my first one...obviously), and ended up coming back up nearly $10k for the 2 week trip.

And what happened next? What happened in 2008 and 2009? I took a job at a casino, and granted I still play poker, I kind of paused my "career" for the most part, to make safe money, and to take care of my father. It's not something I regret necessarily, but I do wish I had been more active in poker over the last year and a half now. I may even have had enough spare money to have taken him on a few more trips he wanted. I did get him out for one or two, but there were more I wish I had the opportunity to take him on.

Anyway, the basic gist of the post I wanted to get across is. If poker's important to you, if it's something you love to do, and you're good at...fuck "real life", poker is real life, and if it makes you happy, do it.

I regret not doing it, but mine eyes are clear now. It's time to get back into the saddle, as they say. I've already been starting, putting in huge volumes of sit-n-goes for a little bit now on FTP, and that will be continuing...and obviously not right now because of his health, but soon I'll be starting to travel and playing live again, because I loved it, and I miss it. It's kind of pathetic that it took this to wake me up to that fact, but such is life.

I leave you with something going back to the reasoning behind the article...and something inspiring/moving I read(or heard as the case may be) recently.

One of, if not flat out my favourite band in the world, Dream Theater, has a new album coming out next month, which I've already listened to for a little while now. Track 5 of the album is entitled "The Best Of Times", written by the drummer Mike Portnoy about his father dying of cancer while the album was being written. It's a beautiful song, and can be found here for anyone that wants to listen to it(the song cuts off at the final 2 minutes or so, which is a guitar solo out-tro) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYc6kJqX99M

And since Mike Portnoy is a much better poet than I shall ever be, I'll leave you with his words instead of my own :

Dream Theater's "The Best of Times"

Remember days of yesterday
And how it flew so fast
The two score and a year we had,
I thought would always last
The summer days and west coast dreams,
I wished would never end
A young boy and his father,
Idol and best friend

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
A lifetime together
I'll never forget

Morning shows on the radio
The case of the missing dog
Lying on the fields at the only twelve
Watching Harold and Maude
Record shops, the stick-ball fields
My home away from home
When we weren't together
The hours on the phone

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
I'll cherish them forever
The best of times

But then came the call
Our lives changed forever more
You can pray for a change
But prepare for the end

The fleeting winds of time
Flying through each day
All the things I should have done
But time just slipped away
Remember "seize the day"
Life goes by in the blink of an eye
There's so much left to say

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit led my life each day

Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for the smiles
All the unconditional love
That carried me for miles
It carried me for miles
But most of all thank you for my life

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit led my life each day
My heart is bleeding bad
But I'll be okay
Your spirit guides my life each day

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I present Fallsview Casino's new slogan : "Where bullshit happens!"

Okay, so, I've been going to Fallsview every once in a while now, still waiting to liquidize my full bankroll and start going several days a week. But after today, I'm honestly not sure. Buckle your seatbelt kiddies, this ride's about to get bumpy :

So, I call up to Fallsview Casino and ask to be put on 2/5 and 5/5 NL lists. I made that call around 2:30pm, I arrive at 3:30pm and find my name isn't on the list. So, after having to argue with the pit boss for a minute that I called(actually resorting to pulling out the trusty iPhone and showing him the exact call log of me calling them at 2:34pm, I'm put back on the list..."somewhere in the middle".

So, about 5:15, I finally get onto a table. So no real inconvenience, only nearly 2 hours of waiting. I'm put on table 8, and right away we have a problem. First hand I sit down some guy spills a glass of beer across the table. So now we have play halted at our table because of beer being all over it, and the dealer starts calling the pit boss over(by the way, I'd never forget this after today, he's got long blonde hair, his name is Michael), who ignores that situation that is holding up a mother fucking live game that has just paid session and now can't play a hand so he can open new tables. He's chillin' over at the opening tables, checking cards and stuff, rather than tending to slightly more pressing issues at hand. Good for him, prioritizing like a champ.

After we get up and running, a full session of 0 hands(not refunded) later, I ask the pit if he can put me on a seat change list to go to table 6 since I have a friend there and I wanna sit with him(he's a Bruins fan, I'm a Habs fan, there needed to be trash talking). As they do that, whenever I ask for that, I make sure to check for my name on the list, ensure they have the seat change put down correctly. I also, always, take stock of where my name is on that list, and in this case, I'm the 2nd table change on the list(there is one player on table 6 that wants to move to table 14). So, I sit back down.

About a half hour later, a seat opens on table 6, and I wait for a minute or two, and suddenly, some girl is picking up her chips and moving over to that table. So I go ask the pit boss what's going on, and I'll breifly summarize our conversation :

Me : "Why is that girl moving to table 6? I was top of the seat change chart..."
Pit : "She was on the seat change chart too."
Me : "She may very well have been, but I was higher on it, hence, priority. Dibs."
Pit : "Relax, you'll get the next one."
Me : "What?!?"
Pit : "Just don't worry about it, you're next!"
Me : "No. She is next."
Pit : "Dude you'll be next after her, don't worry about it."
Me : "Stop telling me to 'not worry about it', she's taking my seat, that's the long and short of it."
Pit : "Just relax and go play dude."

So, frustrated...I go to sit back down. Luckily, the girl doesn't feel like taking all the chips she had on her previous table to the new table, so she can't sit down and I'm now called over. Yay for me. Which the pit boss promptly shoves in my face with a "told you it wouldn't take long", as if that was somehow the issue...

And so time passes. I win almost a buyin with Kd/Jd vs I don't know what on a J/10/6 flop when I raised preflop and got 2 callers, then bet the flop and got raised all in and called the super-fish, board ran 9, Ace and I somehow stayed good. Not sure what he had.

After this, me and my buddy are die hard fans of baseball, and there's an interesting game in St.Louis in the 8th inning(that they get because they have the MLB Extra Innings preview for free), so my buddy goes up and asks the pit if he can change some of the stations we're watching PrimeTime Sports with Bob McCowan on(fine show, just not on mute), to that baseball game, and is promptly told that poor Michael is busy, and then ignored. Great.

So, a while later, we decide to go on meal break, and this is where all hell really breaks loose. I decide to simplify things, I'll take a table change now, play a session, then we'll grab meal buttons at the same time and go eat. And so that plan goes into effect. Surprisingly, the table change goes off without a hitch.

I get to the new table and play a session. Towards the end of the session, this young black kid whose a regular in the game(I've seen him a few times before and other regulars I recognized new him), has left the table a while ago. He's missed a big blind, and is quickly coming up to a 2nd BB missed. At that time, when he misses his 2nd Big Blind...for anyone not familiar with poker room rules, his chips are to be racked up and moved off the table, and replaced with an active player on the 36 person waiting list.

Instead, nothing happens. So a few hands later I call the pit(good old Michael) over, and alert him to the double blind since the dealer had not. Michael asks if anyone knows who the player is(commonplace since I work in a poker room I know how this works), one of his buddies says it's so and so, and immediately, the hunt is on. Rather than picking up his chips, Michael starts walking around the poker room asking if anyone has the kid's phone number. Eventually he finds someone who has it, and tells him to call the kid. By now I'm a little steamed, but fuck it I'll play along. During this time, I lose a buyin with KQ on a K/6/4 flop when someone leads, I raise, he calls, turn is a 2, he checks, I bet a ton, committing us both, and he calls, and the river is a 5, and he checks, I ship and he calls with K/3 off for a straight. So, I ask for a meal break(since it's my BB next), and the dealer starts to set the meal button up.

One problem, good old Michael has an idea. He decides, we're going to give the kid that's not here the meal button I just asked for and was having set for me. Naturally, I flip the hell out. The kid's not even supposed to be on the table anymore, he ISN'T THERE, NO ONE CAN CONTACT HIM, and yet he's now getting the meal button I FUCKING WANT, because I'm starving(hadn't eaten yet that day, woke up at 11:00am, it was now after 8:00pm). So...Michael sets the clock to a half hour(instead of the full hour, this is in his eyes, compromising with me, customer service and what not), and then thinks that's that.

Naturally that's not that, after all the previous indescretions, this one isn't going to slide. I stand up and run right over to Michael and we really go to war. He starts telling me I need to relax again, in the most condescending manner I could ever imagine(which is really what's driving my anger, because normally I'm very civil about disagreements, but just the manner he was talking to me was driving me insane and made me want to punch him in, or about the face). At this point I've lost my mind, I'm yelling at him, there are other players at the table yelling at him, and he just again in a smug voice "Jeez, you guys need to relax!", "If you worry about stuff like this now, when you're 50, you'll be 80!"

So ya, suffice it to say we have, many, many, many, many more words, and eventually I go on a meal break...come back and decide I'm just to pissed to actually play any more poker, and leave the room(while complaining to the CSM on site at the time before I go about my dear friend Michael).

So ya, good times.

Fallsview, nice action, but I don't recommend it. That place is beyond hopeless, the staff doesn't have a clue, or worse, are just down right belligerent, rude and don't care about proper rulings.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Finally back in the saddle again...

Wowie, this thing hasn't been updated in a while. Truth is for those who know me closely you know why for the most part.

Since this is a poker blog I won't go into incredible detail about everything, but suffice it to say, I've had a hard start to 2009, and frankly 2009 sucks. I've had some real bad family news regarding my dad's ongoing battle with cancer which has become a real drain on the house. Without getting too in detail, suffice it to say, he went up North for a few weeks to visit family, because he is concerned he may never be able to see them again. That's how bad that's gotten.

On a slight up note for me, I did get accepted to the College Of Sports Media in down-town Toronto, a private school run by Jim Van Horne, Elliote Friedman, David Lanys and other people from in the industry. However I'm not sure I'll even be enrolling this fall, or asking Dave for a year extension on coming because of how bad dad's health has gotten.

With all that going on, the family issues and saving for the school(which is not cheap, $35,000 in tuition for a 2 year course, plus living expenses in Toronto) I haven't been able to dedicate much time to poker.

I am glad to say that is ready to change however, I'm eagerly finally at a place personally where I'm ready to get back at poker and make it work. I remember the last time I updated I listed a bunch of personal goals for myself, things like "be making a living playing by the end of this year" and "play at least one major buyin tournament" this year, unfortunately that looks like it won't be happening, but that's fine, when life hands you lemons you make lemonade...and since lemonade is delicious that phrase always appealed to me.

So, I started my grind back up by heading on down to Fallsview Casino(which I will be frequenting now no less than 3 times a week so you can expect semi-frequent updates starting in a few weeks when this all goes into action) to play some 2/5 NL. I used to play 5/5 and even 5/10 there, but again with having to set aside like $50,000 for school, the old bankroll ain't what she used to be, so we're back to the 2/5 grind.

So finally, onto some hands on my poker blog! Yay! Oh wait, they didn't go good...bummer.

First big pot I play is shortly after sitting at the table, so I'm still $300 deep. It's a limped pot around to me in the BB and I have 88, so with 7 limps infront I give breif thought to raising, but considering how easy it is to take money off the average 2/5 player, I decide to just check instead and play fairly fit or fold against them for the session, especially with no reads. That works nicely when the flop peels A/8/2 rainbow. SB checks, I check, and it eventually checks right around to the button who bets $25 at the $40 pot. SB flats, and I decide to make a small raise to get everyone comitted relatively early, so I make it $60 to go. I know the min-raise(or basically min-raise) isn't the best play ever, but it's only exploitable against players that aren't garbage, here I can do all sorts of transparant bet sizing because the average player won't notice or think about why. Both players call. $220 in the pot. Turn is a 9. SB checks and I bet out $80. Button shoves, SB calls and I obviously call. Pot is ~$900. The SB has AQ, the button has A8. The river is an ace to fill up the A8. Presto, one buyin down.

So, after a quick rebuy there's only a few more smaller hands of note, there was alot of general bad fortune during the session. Alot of spots where I would raise with a hand like AK, AQ, and not only wiff flops but find myself OOP in multiway pots holding those cards and the flop would be too terrible to even c-bet or try and run a bluff on(K/10/8 with 2 diamonds or something).

I did win one coin flip with AK vs QQ to restore some of the loss, then wound up bluffing off alot of that restored loss in what was a great spot for me, just more bad fortune.

The hand was, I had 3s/4s on the button, there was a big fish(bad player but not necessarily a calling station, just a generally bad player) in the BB. I raised to $20, he called. Flop was Jd/7h/5d. He checked, I bet $35, he called. Turn was a great card to barrel, Ac. He checked, I bet $80, he called. The river wasn't the best card, an 8d completing a flush and a few goofy straight draws. However, he checked once again, which I knew meant he didn't have any of those hands, he was deffinitely not the type of player that would be checking back a made hand he drew to. At this point I figured my read of him being weak(a 7 or a 5) or drawing was alot more complete, because I could rule out any draw that got there on the river, and I was left with just a 7 or a 5 as his potential holdings. My only concern as I decided to bluff the river was there was an outside chance he had a hand like 8/7 which would now have to call after spiking a 2nd pair on the river(or at least probably would call given his general fishiness). So I barrelled $150 at him, and he called with 8/5. Like I said, I think my read was strong and I think it's a great spot to be barelling as the board kept running worse and worse, unfortunately he improved his hand on the river without hitting a draw to lead at me, but hit the river enough to be in check call mode instead of check fold.

All told I dumped $500, but I actually got a real motivation to get going at the live play again and get back into the swing of poker. I've been neglecting it for quite a while now, I can't wait to get back into it more fully in a few weeks. Look forward to regularily updating this blog when I start.